


No Longer Alone...

by Sanakotsu



Category: A3! (Video Game)
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Fear of Abandonment, Hurt/Comfort, Light Angst, Not Beta Read, Other
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-26
Updated: 2020-06-26
Packaged: 2021-03-03 20:14:57
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 745
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24921400
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sanakotsu/pseuds/Sanakotsu
Summary: Muku has bad thoughts, at least he had his friends there by his side.
Comments: 3
Kudos: 20





	No Longer Alone...

**Author's Note:**

> It's a vent fic I guess... I've had these feelings bottled up for a week and I just finally broke...

Muku felt alone... Yes he had friends and lived in a dorm with many others, but he felt this mentally. Others told him otherwise, always complimenting him for many things. But the thoughts stuck with him so much, he ended up believing them. Of course he couldn’t voice these feelings, he didn’t want to bring down anyone’s mood. He felt bad every time he did. He hated and dreaded the feeling of being ignored

“ **Am I growing distant with them...?** ”

“ **What if I’m being annoying?** ”

" **How many times have I been annoying and they never said anything?** "

“ **Do they hate it when I vent?** ”

“ **Do I talk too much?** ”

“ **What if they leave me one day?** ”

“ **I’m scared... I’m so scared...** ” 

Those words echoed through his head and stayed there for who knows how long. Sometimes his head felt empty yet filled to the brim with thoughts he wished could just leave. He shouldn’t feel this, should he? He was popular enough around school —girls confessed and gave him chocolate, he has friends, he’s athletic and smart... So why... Not even knew why he thought these things, he didn’t even know how he got friends. Some days, he’d get back to the dorm and just cry. Of course he didn’t know why he felt like crying, it just made him feel better. 

Muku knew it wasn’t good to fake happiness when sadness ate away at him from the inside or bottle up these feelings. But he couldn’t help it, it only took 2 people to tell Muku to stop talking about himself to cause the insecurities to come flooding in. He wasn’t a mind reader, he didn’t know what anyone thought of him. Though their opinions of him could change if he asked even more than once. 

Watching his friends eventually find partners made him harbor both happiness and loneliness. Happy his friends found people that love them, happy that anyone would be able to find love. Loneliness from questioning whether or not  _ he _ could find someone that loved him. Would there be someone by his side? Would anyone like him back? Did anyone even like him as a person? 

Yuki would notice sometimes and comfort the other or Muku would console to Yuki, they both happened. Of course his cousins noticed and often subtly tried to cheer him up, it did work for short periods of time though. He didn’t want to keep going to the same people to vent to, he thought it would make them annoyed. Muku just wanted to stop feeling, to stop thinking about these things. But they just  **wouldn’t** leave, no matter how hard he tried. 

He tried to make school his safe space. There he could be left alone to his thoughts, he could talk to people if he wanted. Unfortunately in his group of friends, he would sometimes be left ignored, trying to speak but ultimately getting cut off in the end. He didn't want to be silent but the others left him no choice. 

He always resisted the urge to just hurt. He wanted to smash his head against the wall just to stop thinking, it hurt him emotionally so bad. He was reminded constantly that people were there for him but he just couldn’t go to them. Showing how weak he was made him feel pathetic, he couldn’t stand that. Muku even tried dropping subtle hints that he wasn’t okay, but no one noticed. Of course they didn’t notice. Why would they care about someone like him? 

One day, he just couldn’t take it anymore and broke. He broke down crying in the living room. He finally spoke all the things he’s kept bottled up in his heart and mind after weeks. He couldn’t even tell if he felt better afterwards or not, he just wanted to keep crying. The people he could call friends—or even family— stayed by his side, comforting him through the pain that finally slipped out. Muku explained all his thoughts and all the feelings that were repressed away. It felt like a weight was lifted off his chest, he could finally breathe. 

Surely the negative thoughts could and would come back, but that doesn’t mean Muku would have to go through it alone anymore. Ah... It looks like he finally found a place where he belonged, it’s been a long time since he last found one. At least he was happy that this time might not be the last. 

**Author's Note:**

> I swear I'm not always sad  
> Follow me @ Sanakotsu on twt


End file.
